Indelible Read online

  “You were?” I asked. He’d mentioned noticing that I was with James, but I hadn’t realized they’d talked.

  Judd shot James a dirty look, causing her to smirk back at him. He turned back to me and shrugged as he said, “I may have asked who you were.”

  Always back to games.

  “You’d better watch out for Judd, Sam. He’s like the male version of me…only worse,” James warned.

  If James was saying he was trouble, he must be really bad. Figures, I thought, the first guy that not only made my blood boil, but also made me feel comfortable, is a total player.

  “I’ll be back,” I said as I stood. “I need to hit the restroom before I leave.”

  As I walked away I heard Judd ask, “What the fuck, James?”

  I kept walking with my head held high. I was so grateful that James had my back, because despite my initial trepidation, Judd had caught my interest.

  I pushed through my last set, grunting as I lifted the weights over my head. Tuck, the guy I worked out with every morning, spotted me from above.

  “How was the bar Saturday night?” Tuck asked as I struggled to catch my breath.

  I swigged some water and wiped the sweat from my brow before answering.

  “Alright,” I responded. “Caught a couple of good games.”

  Tuck was the blonde All-American preppy type, but I didn’t hold it against him. He was quick on third and could run faster than most, plus he was always up for a good time.

  “Any hot chicks?” he asked, positioning himself on the bench.

  “There was one that had a great ass, but nothin’ much happened there,” I said, drinking more water to try and sooth my burning throat.

  “Couldn’t close?” Tuck mocked with a raised eyebrow and a shit-eating grin.

  “Please,” I grinned back at him. “I can close any day of the week. I was just laying the groundwork.”

  Tuck put his hand out for a fist bump and chuckled. Neither one of us had a hard time with the ladies.

  We finished up our morning workout and headed to the locker room.

  “Where were you?” I asked Tuck, going back to our earlier conversation about the weekend.

  “I have a test today so I stayed in to study for it. It sucked, but it was necessary. I need to bring up my grade so they don’t bench me.”

  After showering up, I secured my hair with a hair tie, grabbed my bag, and told Tuck I’d see him at practice.

  I needed some coffee before my first class.

  The smell of fresh-brewed coffee hit me as I opened the door to the shop, and I took a moment to inhale greedily. I could feel myself perking up already.

  I’m not one of those total meat-head guys who works out obsessively and eats only boiled chicken and potatoes or foregoes caffeine for water. Nah, I like to eat, and I love the little pleasures in life — like coffee. It just means I have to work out a little harder to stay in shape throughout the season.

  I put in my order and smiled at the barista when she handed me my dark roast black. She blushed sweetly, so I winked at her. Might as well give her something to think about.

  I turned to exit the building when I noticed Sam sitting in the corner, sipping on a drink as she thumbed through a textbook.

  I was pleased to note that she was even better looking this morning than she’d been the other night. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail with her long bangs swept to the side.

  She looked damn sexy.

  I noticed that her hair was red, and The Doors T-shirt she had on only made her hotter in my book.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” I said, immediately regretting the cheesy opening line, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

  Sam looked up, and I saw the momentary confusion cross her face before she recognized me from the bar. She schooled her features quickly, so I couldn’t tell whether she was happy to see me or not.

  “Hey,” she responded. Didn’t even crack a smile.

  Not a good sign.

  I pointed at the empty chair across from her.

  “Do you mind if I sit?”

  Sam shrugged, and I figured that was the best response I was going to get from her, so I took it.

  I sat down and tried an open and friendly smile. Something to say, “Hey, I’m a good guy.” Which, of course, I’m not.

  When she still didn’t say anything, I cleared my throat a bit and took an encouraging sip of my coffee before trying again.

  “So, I hope you weren’t offended the other night,” I began.

  She looked at me blankly, so I continued. “You know…when James said that I’d been asking about you. You seemed to get mad before you left. I just wanted you to know that there was no hidden agenda on my part; I just thought you were hot and wanted to get to know more about you.”

  Her cheeks turned pink at that, which I thought was hot as hell, and she finally responded.

  “I wasn’t offended,” she said, cheeks still flushed. “I just wished that I’d heard that from you instead of James. At the time it seemed like you were playing a game and I don’t do games.”

  I grinned, because I really liked her candor. In fact, I hadn’t seen anything about her that I didn’t like.

  “I can appreciate that,” I replied. I didn’t like games either. “What do you say we start over?”

  She finally smiled at that, and I felt like I’d won a prize.

  “Okay.”

  I held my hand out over the table.

  “Hi, I’m Judd.”

  “Sam,” she replied simply.

  “I think you’re hot, Sam,” I said honestly. “I’m not looking for a serious relationship, but I’d like to get to know you better. If that works for you, I’d love to take you out Friday night.”

  She laughed and nodded slightly before responding.

  “Luckily, I’m not looking for a serious relationship either, and I think you’re pretty hot yourself.” I couldn’t stop the shit-eating grin that spread across my face. “Let me see what I’ve got going on this weekend and I’ll get back to you.”

  “Okay, can I at least get your number?” I asked, reaching for my phone.

  She shook her head and I looked at her, the confusion apparent on my face.

  “I’m not ready to give you my number just yet, but I’ll be here again on Wednesday morning, so I’ll let you know then.”

  That said, she stood, smiling saucily as she gathered her things and walked toward the door.

  She left me there, watching her walk away while grinning like an idiot.

  I was really beginning to dig this chick.

  After my classes were done for the day, I headed home to the burbs. That’s what everyone on campus called family housing, since it was made up of the students that were either married, had kids, or both.

  Karrie stayed with one of the other residents when I had class, named Molly. She’s married with a three-year-old son, Thomas. Her husband went to class and she stayed home during the day, so she offered to watch Karrie, which was a huge help. I didn’t have the money to pay for full-time daycare, so Molly was a lifesaver.

  My parents help out where they can, and I have a staff job in the Art Department, but that’s only part-time. In exchange for watching Karrie, I help Molly with groceries for the kids and stuff around the house.

  She works nights, so she has a hard time keeping house as well as juggling everything else. I’m more than happy to help her in any way I can, since she was such a source of support for me and Karrie.

  I walked along the path until I got to Molly’s house. The front had a smattering of dead plants and flowers. Molly always tried to grow things, but she just didn’t have a knack for it.

  I opened the front door and was confronted with the wailing of my daughter. I could tell by the sound that she was in the middle of a full-blown fit. Over the past few months the terrible twos had hit hard.

  I walked gingerly through the living room, sidestepping around the toys and book
s that were strewn everywhere. I could her Molly’s pleas whenever Karrie paused to breathe.

  “Please stop, Karrie. What’s wrong? Use your words.”

  When I rounded the corner into the kitchen, I saw my little bundle of joy splayed out on the tile, kicking her little feet, her hands fisted and rubbing her crying eyes as she screamed.

  “Karebear,” I cooed loudly.

  At the sound of my voice all the noise stopped and everyone looked at me. If I hadn’t been in this situation many times myself it might have been funny.

  Molly looked like she was about to pull the curly hair out of her strewn ponytail. Thomas was in her arms, pointing at Karrie with one hand, while the other was stuck in his mouth.

  Like a switch had just been flipped, Karrie peeled herself off of the floor and toddled over to me, her arms stretched out before her.

  “Mommy,” Karrie said in a tired voice.

  I picked her up and turned to Molly as she laid her head on my shoulder and cuddled into my body.

  “Oh my gosh,” Molly said as she straightened up. “She’s been like that for a while. They both refused to take a nap today.”

  “I’m sorry, I know what that’s like,” I assured her as I patted Karrie’s back. “I’ve got to head home and get some studying in, but I’ll have time to come over in the morning and get the bathrooms cleaned.”

  “Okay,” Molly said with a tired smile. “That sounds great. My shift starts at seven tonight, so I know I won’t have much time to clean up. I’m hoping to get him down for a nap with me before I go in.”

  “Sounds good,” I replied as I walked into the living room to gather the things I would need to take home for Karrie tonight.

  “Hey, I’m off Friday,” Molly said as I picked up Karrie’s favorite blanket. “Do you want to hang out?”

  “Actually,” I began as I tried to stand back up and balance Karrie in my arms. “I was asked out on a date for Friday night.”

  “Really?” Molly asked, her eyes lighting up as her lips spread into a grin. “Do I know him?”

  “I doubt it,” I replied. “I met him at the bar the other night, and he knows James.”

  Molly grimaced at the mention of the other girl; she and James didn’t get along.

  “I’m not sure if I’m going to go though,” I said.

  “Why not? You need to go on more dates. Going without sex as long as you have isn’t healthy.”

  “Hey!” I exclaimed, covering Karrie’s ears pointedly. “Language.”

  “Oh, please,” Molly said with a short laugh. “They don’t know what I’m saying.”

  I just shook my head at her and walked toward the door.

  “I’m serious, Sam,” Molly said, putting her hand on my shoulder to stop me. “You’re young. You deserve a night out with a nice guy.”

  “Well,” I said with a smile while thinking of Judd. “I don’t know if I’d call him a nice guy, but there’s something about him that intrigues me. I can’t quite put my finger on it.” I turned back and grinned at her. “Oh yeah, it might be his rock-hard body and killer smile.”

  “Bitch!” Molly laughed. “That’s it, you’re going!”

  “I don’t know. It’s not my parents’ weekend with Karrie, and I feel bad leaving her to go out.”

  “Don’t. I’ll come over and take care of her. We’ll have a girl’s night and it’ll be great.”

  “Won’t Bill be pissed that you actually have a Friday off and you’re going to babysit?” Bill was a great guy, and he actually enjoyed spending time with Molly and Thomas whenever he could.

  “Nah, Billy has a poker game that night. It’s been planned for months, so he’ll be with the guys. They’re all coming over at seven, so Thomas will be down for the night. There’s no reason why I can’t come over to your place around five and hang with Karrie.”

  I looked at her determined face and shrugged. “Okay, I guess I’ll tell Judd yes. Thanks Moll, you’re the best!”

  I leaned in to give her a hug, careful not to disturb Karrie, who’d fallen asleep in my arms.

  “Bye, Tommy,” I said, patting him gently on the top of the head before turning to go down the street to my house.

  Tuesday was a blur of classes and practice. I was so exhausted that when I got home I grabbed a beer and fell asleep on the couch without even taking a sip.

  That explained why I got up before the sun, starving and with a stiff neck.

  “Shit!” I exclaimed when my feet hit the corner of the coffee table on the way to the floor.

  My one-room apartment didn’t have a ton of space, but I wouldn’t trade my solitude for anything. I’d lived in the dorms when I first came to school, but that barely lasted a few months before I’d found this place.

  It was dingy and cramped, but it had served me well over the last few years.

  I rented the place above Penelope’s Flower Shop. Mrs. P let me subsidize my rent by sweeping up the shop and helping her unload her deliveries on the weekends. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.

  Since I was up so early, I showered, grabbed a Pop-Tart, and headed down the stairs to check on the shop.

  I let myself in through the backdoor and was assaulted by the scents of roses and lilies. I’d never admit it to the guys on the team, but I kind of enjoyed helping out in the shop. It was the most stress-free and pleasant-smelling work I’d ever done.

  Mrs. P kept the place pretty clean, so it didn’t take long to straighten up. I looked at the clock above the door and saw that I still had a couple hours before Sam would be at the coffee shop with her answer.

  I was a little embarrassed to admit how much I was looking forward to seeing her again, and it was kind of a turn on that she kept me guessing. I didn’t know whether she was going to agree or not to the date on Friday, and I enjoyed the anticipation.

  Since I had time, I figured I’d better go check on my dad. It’d been about a week since I’d seen him last. I usually tried to go by once a week, just to make sure he was doing alright.

  I locked up and walked around back to my bike. I took a moment to appreciate the gleam of the polished chrome as I held my hair back and put on the helmet. I straddled the bike and felt the vibrations roll through me as the engine came to life.

  I enjoyed the trip to my dad’s house on the other side of town. It was still early enough that the roads were clear, so I was able to ride straight through with few stops in my way.

  I turned on to the street I grew up on, barely noticing the fading, dilapidated houses lining it, and slowed down to stop in front of my dad’s house.

  It had once been a brilliant blue, but not long after Mom’s death my dad had painted it beige. He’d painted the entire thing beige — inside and out. It was like with her gone, all of the color had gone out of our lives. I guess, in a way, it had.

  I left my helmet hanging off my bike, sure that the punks in the neighborhood knew better than to mess with anything of mine.

  I walked through the overgrown grass and up the cracked path. I remembered how tidy and sweet this place had been when I was a little kid, and felt a familiar twinge of regret as I reached the stoop.

  The screen door had been torn off the hinges and placed on the stoop next to the door, so I moved stray strands of screen out of the way and got my key to let myself in.

  Damn… The smell that hit me when I opened this door was nothing like Mrs. P’s – it smelled like straight-up ass. What seemed to be a mixture of B.O., stale beer, molding food, and cigarettes melded together in a horrendous odor that had me gagging a bit as I rushed over to open the windows.

  I looked around in disgust. My dad had done a lot of damage since the last time I’d been by. I’d straightened the place up then, but you wouldn’t know it to look around the space now.

  After I got the windows open, I walked through the house looking for my dad.

  I found him in the back bedroom, the one he used as the T.V. room. My mom didn’t believe in having a T.V. in the livi
ng room; she’d said the living room was for socializing and spending time with the people who were important to you. It was one of the few things my dad still adhered to, even all these years after her death.

  The television was on mute, but the pictures flashed across the screen, lighting up the room like a strobe light. Dad was passed out in his recliner, last night’s T.V. dinner on the table next to him, surrounded by a twelve pack of empty beer cans.

  I walked over and touched him lightly on the shoulder.

  “Hey, Dad, why don’t you go lay down in your bed?”

  He jerked and snored a little louder, but didn’t wake up.

  I looked over at the picture of my mom on the wall. My lips turned up at the sight of her long dark hair spilling over her shoulders, and the big smile that had always seemed to be on her face.

  I missed that smile.

  I straightened up and pulled my hair back, deciding it may be best to just leave Dad as he was as I went into the kitchen to grab a trash bag.

  An hour and three trash bags later, my dad was still asleep in his chair, but the television was off and he was covered up with one of my mother’s quilts. I shut the windows and locked up behind me, breathing a sigh of relief as I got on my bike and drove back toward campus.

  As I took the time to double check my mascara and try to tame the fly-aways that were sprouting out of my hair, I assured myself that I wasn’t making an extra effort to look good when I saw Judd at the coffee shop. I mean, he may not even show up so it would be stupid to worry whether or not my eyes pop.

  But deep down I knew he would show up. I think I’d left him intrigued enough to want to see me again. At least I hoped so.

  I scooped up Karebear along with my purse, my backpack, her backpack, and her blankie, and locked up behind us before heading to Molly’s.

  On Mondays and Wednesdays my first class was later in the morning, so I liked to go to the coffee shop to grab a drink and do some studying. I always seemed to get a lot more accomplished there rather than at home, where Karrie wanted my full, undivided attention.